From Songs of Limbs and Flesh and Heart Perhaps Too :: Creative Writing Essays

From Songs of Limbs and Flesh and Heart Perhaps Too "Am I desirable?" le dà ©sir/ desire Without the consistent reminder that the amorous subject is found sexually appealing, there is an attention to physical detail, a reassessment of worth, and of balance between what is called "inner and outer beauty" 1. In the mirror I am searching for what the other will be drawn to. And not only the other, but anyone: strangers, foes, past lovers. I am scanning legs, hair, and curve of thigh. Is it elbow, or nape of neck? For though in the past I fled from those who took little interest in me "as a person," I now crave this one-track regard just when I at last seem to be appreciated for "who I am." Hence a constant sense of unrest, seeking an other who balances these two desires. (Although I am inclined to believe that the latter must have, to some degree, the same lure to the superficial, only is more capable of hiding it for reasons of character or perhaps sexual feat.) 2. I have bought these new clothes - tighter/shorter/more exposing - for the purpose that the other will take note of the way my body looks in them, for a possible verbal response to a carnal reaction. Here I do not expect much, but wish perhaps the other could muster the words of Federico Garcia Lorca, "To see you naked is to remember the earth." I am thus seeking affirmation, approval. It boils down to ordinary sexual attention. I need to be reminded that the other finds me more than sufficiently, irresistibly at times, alluring. II. Looking at Lips I was once told that the dent between our lips and our noses is the fingerprint of an angel who has erased all knowledge of past lives before we are reborn into new ones. I find that my pinky fits nicely into mine, and wonder if perhaps fuller-lipped people had more memory that needed erasing, more interesting lives to be forgotten. Today my lips feel warm. They are chapping and at last picking up color, which I welcome (sans chapstick) to my otherwise pale features. In elementary school, my teachers seemed thin-lipped. In fashion magazines, gaunt women are featured with round, luscious lips. I can imagine the way their lips bundle up for the lipstick, then relax, allowing the colored stick to pull them side to side.